Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Something I wrote to God 2 years ago..

Oh Lord….


Why do I always hesitate while speaking?

Why do I always pause abruptly while talking?

Why do I always have a lack of confidence in what I am talking about?

Why do I always think I have a poor self-image?

Why do I always talk too fast?

Why do I always make my messages unclear to those who listen to me?

Why do I always have fear and the feelings of inferiority of myself to others?

Why do I always think that I am not good enough?

Why do I always belittle my abilities and capabilities?

Why do I always compromise?

Why do I always feel condemned after doing mistakes and errors in life?

Why do I always envy those who are able to live a better life than me?


Can you change me Lord?

Change me into a better proficient speaker?

Change me to love You and will seek You all the days of my life?

Change me to be someone who can change the world?

Change me to be more and more like You?


Someone that will be used by You in a deeper, greater way possible for the purpose of Your kingdom.

Someone that I couldn’t even imagine how I would turn-out to be.

All my weaknesses are hindering me from becoming a person to be used mightily for You and Your works!

My life and future are in YOUR HANDS!

Help Me ABBA!

Use me Father, Use me Lord!


One who has a strong self-esteem, confidence and a positive self-image.

One who can teach well and in a proper manner.

One who is able to conduct good lessons, not compromising in the contents in it.

One who is constantly sharp and alert of the surroundings.

One who is sensitive to one’s needs, caring for the uncared, loving the unloved.

One who is always prepared and ready to be able to handle unforeseen circumstances.

One who does not fall back easily during tough times, but continuing to press on.

One who is always seeking ways to improve internally and externally, will not be content with mediocrity but always striving to do the best.

One who is hard-working, never lazy or idle in work.

One who is willing to give out my all, being able to sacrifice my own personal needs to meet the needs of others.

One who will serve You and my leaders faithfully and with integrity.

One who is always READING YOUR TRUTH, STUDYING, MEMORIZING, MEDITATING and putting YOUR TRUTH into ACTION.

One who KNOWS that YOU are always BY MY SIDE and that YOU will guide, teach and provide me with YOUR STRENGTH, COURAGE and WISDOM always.

One who KNOWS that with YOU, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!


Finally it ended with a short poem...


Untitled

I have a dream

To be one that God uses mightily

Despite every single bad and ugly thing I have done in my walk with Him

I know and truly He knows

That unless I am faithful

He will never release the anointing that He has placed within me

The gifts and the talents

They mean nothing

What truly matters is the heart

A heart

Pure and humble

Thirsting and hungry

For Him

And only Him alone.


- Kevin - January 2007